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Hello dancers, this is your captain speaking.

Welcome aboard Flight Number BNDYRNBW0305 non-stop from the daily grind direct to your weekend. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 420,000 feet at an airspeed of 420 miles per hour. Take off, get high and move around the cabin all you want. We won’t be turning on the seatbelt sign this flight.

Joining us in the cosy cockpit are special guests Ben Smith and Dean Chapman, bringing the oh-so-good GrooveJet vibes from 1am. Expect cosmic grooves and galactic synths, with bouncing rhythms and melodies keeping those propellers going.

We remind you smoking is not permitted in the cabin or bathrooms on this flight. The smoke machine will cause foggy conditions, however. Bendy cabin crew Alicia, Jack Popper and The D Word will be providing inflight entertainment and warm, tasty house party grooves to snack on from 2100. In the event of an emergency, please assume the dance position.

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